You can decide...

For any of you who might have enjoyed the 'adoption is like...' series on my blog, this post is for you. Notice the Poll on the right with some choices. Or, leave a comment with something you think would be fun. I'm pretty open to almost anything clean. If nothing else, it will give me something fun to blog about when I'm really just to frustrated to talk about anything else. Strange people require strange therapy you know!!!

FYI, the poll would only allow so many choices, so here are a few more:
potty training (you have to see where that's going)
milk
a moose

An excerpt from the song:
'I'm taking you with me' by Reliant K

But as every second mark goes by
I feel it's just a waste of time
If I'm not with you

If home is where the heart is
Then my home is where you are
It's getting oh so hard
To spend these days
Without my heart.


These lines speak a bit of what I feel these days. Just as a side note, this was on the CD I mentioned winning a while back.

As to the case, no news today. The exec director and I had a long talk this evening. I have always asked them to let me know if I've pushed too far. Apparently he was at least concerned that I did yesterday. It was extremely long and drawn out, but okay overall. Not good necessarily, but not too bad either. I'm still processing some of it.

I do hope you are all well.
God does love you and me.

Honestly, some days I hate this crap...

Our agency still seems totally and utterly incompetent to provide us with any viable information from Guatemala and specifically our attorney. They don't really have any explanation why either. (I would offer up the thought of they're not really trying!) Even what they did say was that they're scheduled to speak to mystery woman (as referenced in a prior post) tomorrow, hoping she's heard from the attorney. Here's a stupid question: Why not talk to the attorney directly? Probably because it seems he doesn't respond either, even though for months and months they kept telling us how great he was, but still, shouldn't you continue to try?

In our fairly long conversation this afternoon, one of the things they brought up again as they almost always do, is that they chose these people to ensure everything was done ethically in Guatemala. I asked them when did ethics on our side of the case begin to matter, too. The international director here in town was describing it pretty much as if a little lie here and there to us was fine as long as nobody was being bribed, children weren't being bought, etc.
I'm honestly not sure if I even respect any of them much any more, much less trust them.

Sorry to be blunt again, but given that with a new DOS warning today pretty much saying any case not already done by Dec 31, 2007 had no guarantees at all, knowing my agency and attorney are crap leaves me pretty frustrated.

Edited a little later for those of you working with our agencies: Please don't hear me saying this is or will be your experience. Most of you have a different attorney, which if I may say, you should be thankful for. However, this indeed has been my own personal experience, and I just have to get it out sometimes. Thanks! - Tim.

The silent treatment...

is apparently what we're getting again. We have no confirmation to date we're in (and know we weren't as of Friday). What knows what they're up to?

attorney sighting?

In a total reversal from what we were told yesterday, the attorney seems to have reported in today saying he has made the corrections, and is 'planning' on submitting us by tomorrow. I'm holding the jubilation until I have proof in hand, but perhaps we're moving at least.
I truly wonder how this stuff sounds to them when they tell us sometimes? Do they feel as crazy saying it as it sounds, changing so drastically from day to day?

Still some fight left in me...

Just letting you know I'm feeling a little better. (Thank you so much for the comment, d:). Seeing that and reading your blog was a big part of refreshing my spirit today.)
Still no good news, probably worse in fact, since we essentially got the don't call us, we'll call you line from Guatemala via Kansas. We're waiting for Mr. Magoo to get better, and no one knows when that will be.
Needless to say, though. I don't think that's quite good enough, and have already e-mailed the agency my thoughts on it. Wait a few more days, fine. Wait indefinitely, no way.

Nothing adoption related to be happy about...

These days, this adoption is just a pain and a nightmare more than anything. No one that can do anything seems to even care what happens (or at least when it does). I've appealed to pretty much everyone possible within our agency, but to no avail. It seems to be no big deal to them that this has taken 2-3 times longer than they themselves told us it would, with no real end even in sight. We still usually have to chase them down for any info or support. It truly seems stupid sometimes that we'd even continue to do this to ourselves. They've lied so much.

It's to the point now where I even fear to some degree the 'happy' ending.
Bringing home a walking, talking (in Spanish) toddler (if we make it that soon even) is going to be a lot different than bringing home an infant. Not that I don't want to, but it will be so much harder on him. He is going to be so aware of missing all he's ever known. You can say he'll be fine all you want, but think about taking any two year old you know away from his current world and plopping him in a brand new one, with nothing familiar.
I taught kids that age in Sunday School at our church. I've seen them literally scream their lungs out and bang their head on doors kicking and screaming because their parents left them for an hour. And that was when they had no reason to doubt their parents would return. He will have every reason to doubt, as he will have had his entire world changed at least twice by the time he's home.

I know God will provide what is needed, but that doesn't mean all will be perfect and easy. It hasn't been thus far, and I have no reason to expect that to change any time soon.

This is a horrible and awful process. We're pretty much certain nothing will happen this week. I won't say a miracle cannot happen, but looking at the averages, we've probably already given up coming home this year. There's just too much still left to do. Just so you all know.

I don't mean to be a downer, but that is the reality of where I am. Please continue to pray for my entire family. -Tim

Still nothing has happened in the adoption since I wrote last. Go figure? The attorney is still recovering from his tropical illness.
Pretty interesting sports day today though... Auburn loses another game at home? to Mississippi State? Alabama beats Arkansas in a last minute drive. Florida destroyed Tennessee. And tomorrow the Nascar chase starts, too.

Life on permanent hold...

Nobody really ever even comes back on to say 'we're working on it' any more, and they turned off the music long ago, too. It just really stinks... What else can I say?

...I should quit thinking.

Sorry I haven't written much. The end of this past week I was mostly thinking about how poor our agency communications seem to be. It seems we're back to the pattern of 'we'll hear early next week' only to be at the end of the week hearing, 'we'll hear early next week'. I guess we'll see.

A crazy way to ride...

We still didn't hear any confirmation about our PGN status. Our concern is that from past experience, good news travels fast. When news is slow, it has usually been what we didn't want to hear. Anyway...

Tonight Erin and I were discussing again something the local agency Exec Dir said from my meeting last week. He said they didn't ever intend to just be in the passenger seat in their relationship with the Kansas agency. However, as evidenced by our constant inability to find out timely and accurate info, I mentioned to Erin that more often than not, I feel like we and our social worker here in town are all locked in the trunk. What I hadn't even thought of is what Erin pointed out: even being in the trunk, she and I are still paying for the gas! Now that stinks!

I hope you all are well.

Adoption is like.... Just kidding, no analogy tonight. If you saw Erin's blog you know the birth certficate issue is reportedly done. Now if we could just get confirmation we're back in PGN, that would be excellent.

It looks like Felix has weakened a good bit, but it will still probably make everything VERY MESSY. Remember when we were there in March, (not the rainy season), a good soaking rain caused a mudslide which almost made us miss our flight, so no telling how much yuck this could do since it is the rainy season anyway. Just pray for all the people there in the affected countries.

Hope you are all well. -Tim

Say an extra prayer that everything got done...

Do I need to say any more?

In the dark...

I'm not having a pity party, but I'm just hating that for about the past 7 months, we've really known very little about our adoption. We've had so many problems, but they really haven't been able to ever tell us that much about them. It doesn't happen as much anymore, but when we really started this mess, there were entire processes that didn't take 7 months total. This last 7 months was after the 8 months we took to get to that point. We're doing okay, but it really is frustrating.

I never really said that much about my Thursday meeting with my local agency's executive director. It was long, and my feelings are pretty mixed. Not too many surprises, but it definitely didn't instill a lot more confidence in me, especially in the intermediate agency. I'm still digesting some of it.

Adoptive parents are like...

bread. (And you thought my evolution analogy was out there.) Early on, bread dough is soft and pliable. It can be worked into a variety of different things. Then when you cook it in the oven for a while, like you do asking adoptive parents all those homestudy and dossier questions, it comes out with just the right crust on the outside, with a soft, yummy interior. That crust gives the adoptive parents what they need to endure the crazy questions and insensitive comments that are bound to happen. If all goes well, everyone enjoys a nice loaf of bread. However, if the bread is left sitting too long, it starts to get stale. Then, if left even longer, it starts to get really yucky with some funky green stuff growing on it, and nobody wants to see that. Please don't leave the adoptive parents waiting too long.